


Invasive Species of the Wizarding World:  An Ecological Primer

by Superstition_hockey



Series: Pee-Wee League [12]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Based off a chat fic, Dr. Luc's Dad, Gen, HP discourse?, That Chantal Do It Out of Spite Vibe, The JCT House -- too good too pure, based off of a tumblr post, ornithology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:48:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26663926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superstition_hockey/pseuds/Superstition_hockey
Summary: “What,” Mavs says slowly, tilting his head to one side like a large confused puppy, “is a house elf?”
Relationships: Luc Chantal/Oliver Jackson, Mavs/Jimmy
Series: Pee-Wee League [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1133492
Comments: 114
Kudos: 205





	Invasive Species of the Wizarding World:  An Ecological Primer

**Author's Note:**

> A month or so ago (?time? has lost it's meaning in 2020, maybe it was 6 months ago?), there was a Tumblr post going around about Harry Potter and owl ornithologists trying to figure out how Snowy Owls (not native to the UK) wound up in the Scottish Highlands. This is the ficlet that came from me talking to Dangercupcake about Dr. Luc's Dad's many strong opinions on that subject.

“What,” Mavs says slowly, tilting his head to one side like a large confused puppy, “is a house elf?”

Jimmy forgets sometimes that hockey players know like basically nothing except hockey. “It’s from--”

“Jimmy!” Oliver Jackson stands. “Will you help me make up another batch of this sangria you made?”

“Sure…” Jimmy says, because he knows a ploy when he sees one. He’s a little worried about why Mav’s father might want to talk to him alone. Has he done something wrong? But he follows after him. 

In the airy, beautiful kitchen in the Madeira House, Oliver Jackson fishes another bottle of white wine out of the fridge and says, “So, there’s something you need to know about Harry Potter in this household.” 

“Um, I mean I know JKR is a TERF, and that sucks?” Jimmy says, scooping melon into a pitcher. 

“No. I mean, yeah, but like. Okay. So. Basically. In college, Chants’ dad read the beginning of the first Harry Potter book, and got so upset about wizards bringing invasive species of owls into the Scottish highlands that he wrote, uh…. Well, I don’t know. Gen fanfiction? He re-wrote all seven of the Harry Potter books with a strong emphasis on wizarding ecology and… ornithology. When Chants was a kid, his dad read _those_ books to him instead of the real ones. His dad basically… there’s no house elves. There’s no racist inspired goblins. Lupin and Tonks don’t get married, or die, they just collaborate on research together platonically. It’s… it’s a whole _thing_. Luc got confused once when someone asked him about something in Harry Potter and I told him it was just the difference between the English and French translations, and that the movies _really_ deviated from the books. When we had kids. I, uh. I just got Chants’ dad’s copies and we read those to them instead.” 

Jimmy blinks. “You’re… This… So. You’re saying… This entire family thinks the Harry Potter books are about magic bird ecology, based off of French fanfiction a now-famous ornithologist wrote out of spite while a college student two generations ago?”

Oliver Jackson dumps a handful of grapes and strawberries into the wine. “Yes. That is exactly what I’m saying.”

Jimmy digests that for a bit. “Is it… any good?”

Jackson shrugs. “I mean, parts of it are pretty technical and there’s a really long rant about the absurdity of the taxonomic system in Goblet of Fire.” He takes a sip of the sangria. “I think we’ve got blueberries in here somewhere, should we put those in, too?”

Jimmy blinks. “Ummm.”

Jacks dumps the blueberries in. “Deathly Hallows is like one-third weird French existentialism, one-third breaking down the nitty-gritty of the climate crisis, and one-third something vaguely that could be called plot. It’s pretty grim, I’m not gonna lie, but, like, Harry Potter doesn’t become a cop at the end, so, yeah, all in all, better than the originals.” 

“I need a copy _immediately_ ,” Jimmy says. “Please tell me there’s an English translation.” 

“Oh, yeah.”Jackson nods. “ Stick translated it to English years ago when I told him about it. We’ve got it in Russian, Ukrainian, Portuguese, and Spanish, too.”

“Amazing,” Jimmy says, and means it.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to Dangercupcake for fixing my punctuation. Do not post this work on any other site etc etc


End file.
